I almost had a heart attack last Friday.
I walked down into my kitchen and heard a sound behind the garbage can. I reached down and moved the can...
Out darted something about 8" long, moving like a lightening bolt and sliding around so much on the hardwood floor that I couldn't tell what it was.
I don't know about you, but I'm not used to undomesticated living things running around in my house.
I was so startled that the hospital just about got another heart attack patient.
Then I heard him do that chirping thing that chipmunks do when they're angry. I knew what he was.
I still have no idea how he got inside (we think it might be through a recently-vacated dryer vent).
But for the next 5 hours, I found myself having a Caddyshack-type battle with this rascally rodent.
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First I would have to find him - creeping silently around the house searching for movement or a noise.
Then when I found him, I would try to herd him towards any of the doors which I had propped wide open...
Only to have him, at the last second, dart into another room, not trusting my actions.
Finally I decided to go upstairs, hoping he'd figure the way out on his own.
20 minutes later, there he was, about 5 feet away, upstairs!
That stupid animal walked right past the open door and climbed the stairs!
I eventually trapped him into a closet, at which point he ate his way through the sheetrock to escape into the master bedroom.
Now we have a real problem - I will not sleep with something live lurking under my bed.
Brings back too many monster-related memories...
I kept coming in and finding him clawing at the window screen or the closed doors, trying to get out. Then he would chew me out because he couldn't figure out how to get out.
That's when the conversation started. For the next few minutes we had a calm yet intense mammal to mammal discussion -
Me telling him that I was trying to help, and that if he would just do what I'm trying to get him to do, he would be happier.
Him chirping out his frustration at me.
I think there are three key life and management lessons to be learned from this experience:
1. You can't talk yourself out of a situation you've behaved yourself into.
2. Don't give into the natural human (I guess in this situation mammalian) instinct to shift blame. (Somehow it was my fault that he was trapped in my master bedroom!)
3. Have the humility to accept help when offered.
Think about it.
How could your life be better if you understood these lessons?
I think he finally got out while I wasn't looking, because I haven't met him inside recently.
But I have seen him glaring at me from across the patio.
A silent exchange results:
"Hah, I outsmarted you and got out without your help!"
"Until next time, acorn-breath!"
Posted June 10, 2004
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